It was a sad day for squirrels when David Ebersole stepped to the helm of the Carnegie Mellon Chapter of CASC. Upon hearing of the establishments of outposts in the countryside at Grove City and Penn State, rumor had it that squirrels had begun to contemplate a tactical retreat to the city, where they could regroup for their counterstrikes. The city of Pittsburgh had always been considered a safe haven for the squirrel, as the collegiate campuses there were famous for their apathy, surely a CASC chapter would not reach them there. Little did they know…
While Ebersole is one of the more squirrel-friendly members of CASC, having succeeded Tricky Dick Nixon as head of squirrel negotiations, he understands that the only way to negotiate is from a position of strength. Although still trying to match his idol, Otto von Bismarck, in the mustache department, his negotiating skills are second to none. While certainly a kind and forgiving man, David is just as implacable in his disgust with the squirrel population. His hatred began the day they tried to shame him by leaving one of their rotting corpses at the door. Rather than be shamed by this insult, he was provoked into rage and vowed that he would not rest until such insolence was eliminated from the squirrel population.
From an operational standpoint, David
acknowledges his weaknesses in this area, but feels that the nearby brutal
presence of the Supreme Commander is often enough to intimidate the squirrels,
and he is always willing to consult on operational concepts. Additionally, he realizes the advantage he
has in the city, where cars and angry electrical workers are his allies. Nonetheless, he relies mostly on diplomatic manipulations
and trickery, as well as Special Operations to achieve his goal, the placement
of all squirrels in the Pittsburgh District into camps for improved etiquette.